Welcome all. This blog is a place where I can post all about FoodSluttiness - What is a FoodSlut after all? How can I spot a FoodSlut? How can increase my FoodSluttiness?
Here we go.
Q: What is a FoodSlut
A: A FoosSlut is someone who will eat almost anything, purely because of cravings, need to consume calories, or for any emotional or irrational reason. While a FoodSlut appreciates good quality food and beverages, and will often select higher-end items, a true FoodSlut also has no problem eating the oddest and lowest forms of calories.
Example: FoodSlut AP goes to a restaurant, orders a ribeye steak with a fine bottle of CabSav one night, then turns around and eats two cans of tuna and a carton of cottage cheese for dinner the next.
This above example shows the contradictory nature of the FoodSlut: the desire to eat fine food struggles with the need to get calories.
Q: What are the typical traits of a FoodSlut? How can I spot a FoodSlut?
A: Near obsession with food. Constant grazing. These are the people that are eating all day at the office. Most conversations with a FoodSlut mention food ("Hey, what are we doing for lunch?" or "Let me grab a snack before that meeting starts."). Additional evidence includes a huge amount of food in their workspace, possibly even a minor grocery shopping trip prior to work every Monday morning to replenish supplies. If you work with a FoodSlut, they are the ones who have a shelf full of food in the communal fridge, all items labelled with their name or initials. While they are constantly eating, they usually choose to eat at their desks, and not in a common lunch room or cafeteria.
Example: Every Monday morning, FoodSlut JCH brings a bag of groceries to work which includes a large tub of plain skim yogurt, two cans of tuna, a bag of raw almonds, an avocado, a container of mixed salad, a block of cheese, a litre of skim milk, a box of cereal or granola and a loaf of bread. She has a jar of peanut or almond butter and a jar of jam in her office. Her computer keyboard is full of food debris.
The above example demonstrates just how pervasive food is to the FoodSlut. While most of the food a FoodSlut may bring to the workplace is healthy, it is not uncommon to see a FoodSlut raiding the office vending machine for a chocolate bar or salted peanuts.
Q: I think I would make a good FoodSlut. What do I need to do?
A: First off, be honest with yourself. Would you eat canned spaghetti-os? Would you eat SubWay or Burger King or similar fast food without a second thought? And yet do you generally eat healthier than most people? Maybe you've eliminated most sugar from your diet, yet will gladly gobble junk food down during or just after a large training day? Butter only, never margarine. Beer is a food group. Do you find that your coworkers are both in awe and disgusted by your lunches? Have you eaten a whole can of tuna straight from the can? Is your grocery bill almost as much as your rent/mortgage? The dizzying highs... the lowly lows... you eat a lot, you eat well and yet will stoop to culinary lows that would make Jamie Oliver or Gordon Ramsay weep in disgust.
Is this YOU?
If you think so, then be proud of your FoodSluttiness. Embrace it. Don't feel ashamed - you are not alone. Continue to develop your FoodSluttiness - try anything, everything. Don't be afraid to explore the oddities of food and drink, to push your boundaries.
Next time, I will post the OFFICIAL FoodSlut Food Pyramid.
Keep eating.
AP
